Growing Up

Have I ever mention how excited yet completely terrified I am of growing up? I know that I'm already "grown" but I graduate college in less than two months. I will have a real job with a real paycheck with more than one zero at the end every month (hopefully). I will be moving out of my parents house into my own place. I have a car payment, insurance, cell phone bill, and will have to pay for groceries on a regular basis for the first time in my life.

I. Am. Terrified.

Have I mentioned I get anxiety about doing things alone?

I have come to the conclusion that this is why God hasn't allowed me to be in a relationship or be married yet. I need to learn to do things on my own (with His help) before I can enter that stage of my life. I need to be confident in who I am in Christ before I can be confident in myself with someone else. I'm working on it and I'm so much further than I was this time last year.

I'm still hanging out with Cameron. A lot. No second date yet. But I think we are on the right track. Dinner with his little brother and sister, camping, and future plans make me feel like he's planning on sticking around for a while.

In other news, I'm going to look at a house tomorrow. I. Am. Excited. But. Terrified.