I've had almost three days to process now. I'm ok. Really.
Tears have been shed, which I think might have helped the most.
I've been pathetic for the last few days. Thank goodness for the Meekers and the Gambles and Tonia for checking on me and making sure I got out of the house.
He called and said he was sorry. That he really didn't know. That he hated that he hurt me. That I shouldn't be embarrassed. And he wanted to remain as close as we were.
I believe him, but I don't know if I can do it anymore.
I'm not going to let him have the best of both worlds anymore.
He doesn't get all of me and still get to live his life without concern for what his actions say.
So, I'm going to take a deep breath. Re-evaluate. Have some me time. Spend time with friends that I have neglected. Not be always available. Go to Graduate School. Move on. Learn about myself again. Fall in love with me again. Get closer to God. Enjoy the summer. And see what life is going to bring me next.
I. Love. You.
ReplyDeleteProud of you! So so sorry you had to feel this way! From reading this it sounds like you are doing exactly what you should! :)
ReplyDeleteSounds like a good plan sis! I second Sharon! SO sorry you had to go through all that. God has an amaaaazing plan for your beautiful life and I know that an amazing guy is part of that plan! Hang in there! Love you! =)
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