New Room Post!

Ladies and Gents, it's finally here. The post I've been talking so much about. Pictures of my new room! Let me know what you think or if you have any suggestions as to what it needs!

Media Corner with my abysmal DVD collection. Oh, and more books :) 

My very own reading nook!!! 

I love everything about this table. 

Study Area. With more books :) 

The most important part of every bedroom, the bed! 

I feel like I have an "adult" room now! Seriously, I love spending time in here. Although, I do with I would have had enough room for all my books, but I love that I was able to put a ton of stuff on the wall! Hope you like it :) 

Most Annoying Thing About College?

Always. Being. Broke.

Mixed Emotions

As if I needed more stress in my life, Cameron is still texting me.

It's trivial really, but I'm just not sure how I feel about texting me about even the most mundane things.

I know I need to figure that out, but I just have such a hard time being mean to people.

I lived without him all summer, but to be honest, I did miss him. Not that Cameron, but the old Cameron. The one I keep catching glimpses of lately.

I know that's dangerous thinking and that's what got me in trouble in the first place. But at the first hint of me having feelings, I'm out.

Weekend in Review

Friday night I got a text from Cameron. He wanted to go out and eat and just talk. I feel like that is still touchy territory, so I said not that night, I was busy. Which wasn't a lie. I told him one day we could. I know that he's hurting from the breakup and he told me he messed up by pushing all of his friends away and that he was lonely. I feel bad for him, but at the same time, it was kinda his fault. Still, being the person I am, I feel like I should be there for him. Not in a best friend sort of way, but a "I'm nice so I'll help you out" kind of way.

Saturday I continued to decorate my room, I promise I will have pictures soon! I then went to eat dinner with my dad and then my mom joined us for dessert. I went to Kirklands, which I had a gift card for, and got this awesome vase with lights in it! I love it so much and it matches great in my new room.

OH! The most important part of Saturday? I. Found. My. Dream. House. Seriously, I am going to start saving now. Here it is, and it is just perfect for me!

I'm in love.

Happenings

I've been so busy lately! So busy that I've ended up sick, along with half of the people I hang out with at school. The "Holt Hallway Girls" are mostly under the weather.

In other news, I am the new secretary for Phi Alpha Theta! That is our History Honors society, and I'm so excited to be apart of starting this group on campus! Plus there are some super cute nerdy history majors in the group! :)

I also have developed an obsession for Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is such a good show.

Well, I'm not feeling well, so I'm going to curl up in my bed, turn on the TV and tune out the world with my cup of steaming Earl Grey. Talk soon.

Birthday Wishes

My Birthday is officially less than a month away!!!

I don't know if you know this, but I LOVE Birthdays!!!!!

So, Bryan Adams just happens to be giving a concert in Fort Smith on October 10th, which is my special day.

I want to go so bad!

Maybe I'll get to, maybe I won't. tickets are a bit pricey and I just had to buy a new computer because mine bit the dust finally.

What would a Birthday be without wishes?

Always Do What is Right

Never let anyone make you feel guilty for doing what is right.

Yesterday, I had to come to this realization. I felt like I was being attacked unfairly for a decision I made that I know is in my best interest.

Cameron and his girlfriend aren't together anymore, so inevitably I got a text from him the next day. We talked a little, nothing personal, nothing too much. Fine by me.

Then, I asked his friend if they were sure he knew that a breakup on his part didn't constitute a rekindling of friendship on my part. They totally jumped my case.

I was told that he had done nothing wrong, made to feel selfish and unimportant because I couldn't be his friend anymore.

I was belittled, like my feelings or emotions didn't matter, only his. And worst of all, that I should remain friends with him because he didn't deserve that and he tried to make it work with us.

What about what I deserve? Do I not deserve to be happy and healthy and have no fear of rejection or being cast to the wayside when the next girl comes along? Do I not deserve to be respected and be important and my decisions accepted, just like his were?

Yes. I do. And I'm not buying any more of this "you are selfish" bit. Yeah, I felt like a horrible person yesterday, but for once, I'm making a decision for me. Not my "friends," not Cameron, not anyone else, but for me. The one time I refuse to be a people pleaser is the one time I get attacked unfairly. So, enough. I'm done. I don't need people in my life that treat me like that. I'm worth so much more.

Busy Bee

School. 

Babysitting. 

Room redo.

Homework.

I'm so busy! I am actually really glad I'm graduating this year, because I am ready for a normal life, with a job and a schedule. 

I barely have a spare minute for myself. 

When I have time, we will talk more. 

Much love!