We Just Wanna Be Loved

I know, it's cliche posting about love on Valentine's Day, but really, what other day of the year do we think about love so much?

Who doesn't secretly hope that the huge bouquet of flowers that is getting delivered is going to their desk? And who doesn't enjoy being taken out on a nice dinner with cell phones and social media put away?

It's not that we require these things to know we are loved, but that the person doing them does it because they love us. And because they want the whole world to know it to. We want to be shown off like a precious jewel or a priceless painting. While love in secret is special too, it's not the only expression of love that fills our needs.

Sometimes as a human, our greatest need is to know that someone will miss us if we didn't come home or to know that we a prized by someone.

But for those of us who have no one to come home to, no one really to confide in on days like today, when couples and families with children are huddled together in tight embraces, it can be cold and lonely.

Sometimes we get so caught up in thinking about the person we love, we forget about the people who don't have that.

In the end, we all want and need the same thing. We all just want to be loved. We were not created to live in loneliness. We were created to flourish in love.

So, on days like today, by all means plan special things to do with the person you love, but don't forget about those who don't have the same love that you do and show them a little love too.

I'm Blogging Again

I haven't blogged since I graduated. Which is sad. I have all this time on my hands now, and I haven't been using it wisely. I've decided to start blogging again, because honestly, I think it helps me stay on track and keep my sanity.

There isn't really much to tell about my life at the moment, except there is a ton of things that have happened over the last 6 months. But I really don't feel like sharing most of it. So here is to a new start, a new life, and a new blog.

Officially an Adult

This weekend I graduated college! It was such an exciting time for me! I ended up graduating magna cum laude, which was my goal, so I am incredibly happy.

I have filled out over 20 job applications. It has been insane. I have so far only been on one interview, at the Clayton house. If you haven't been there, you need to go. It is an amazingly restored Victorian house in downtown Fort Smith where John Clayton, Judge Parker's prosecutor, lived in the late 1800s.

I do have two more upcoming interviews next week. One is for the Times Record. I would be typing death notices, letters to the editor, and obituaries. Sounds morbid right? But I think I would enjoy it. That sounds odd, but those things are very important to families and I like to help people as much as I can in times of need.

My other interview is at ABF. I was hesitant to apply there, because I think it would be hard for me to get excited about trucking every day.  But, at this point I just need a job.

In other news, I bought a house. It has the potential to be completely adorable. It is on East Denver street in awesome neighborhood. I can't wait to move in! First though, we are doing some hefty remodeling. The people who owned it before used it as a rent house and it has been trashed over the years. At last count there are 6 layers of wallpaper in the kitchen alone. It will definitely be a project.

With graduation, a house, and the job hunt, I officially feel like an adult.

A Midsummer Night's Dream

Last night I went to watch William Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream presented by the UAFS theater department.

It was...interesting to say the least. I did however enjoy it. Mostly because it was pretty funny, but also because I got to have dinner with Lydia before the show.

Austin was in the play, so afterwards I called him to tell him what a good job he'd done and we decided to have a catch up lunch very soon! I'm so excited to see him and catch up on his life. It has been way too long.

It is supposed to rain on our camping trip. I LOVE rain, but not when they are forecasting a monsoon the day we are supposed to be soaking up the sun by the lake.

Speaking of soaking up the sun, I'm hopefully going to the beach this summer after graduation! I'm so excited!

Spring Break!

My plans for Spring Break include:
Not working Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday!
Going camping with my FAVORITE people on Tuesday and Wednesday!
Celebrating Tonia's birthday!
Going to the Hunger Games premier!
Starting off break watching a steam-punk version of Shakespeare's A Midsummer's Night Dream!
Attending Kyle's wedding!
Having dinner with Will! (hopefully)
And a little bit of school work with Cameron.

This is my last "official" spring break as a student, and I don't have huge plans like going to the beach or anything, but I'm actually really excited about the plans that I do have, because I get to spend time with the people that I love the most and that's really all that matters to me these days. I am so lucky to have such amazing families in my life that let me hang out with them!

We Need to Talk

And by we, I mean Cameron and I.

This evening, he told me I should move to Northwest Arkansas AGAIN. That makes the 4th time in a week and a half.

I mean, it would be different if we were married or heck even DATING. But we aren't. Does he not realize that if I did that, I would be that pathetic girl that just can't let it go? No, he doesn't because he's a guy and I'm still not convinced that he really knows how I feel about him. Even though I've told him and Tonia has told him.

I told him that I would cry if he moved and he just said "Why? I'm nothing special. I'm just a person." I didn't even know what to say except for "I love you and you are so incredibly special to me. I want to marry you and have your children." which would have been completely awkward and weird and uncomfortable on so many levels, so I settled for the long pause and the "you are my best friend so of course I think you are awesome" bit.

I also asked him if he realized how much we hang out. He said I don't know, not that much do we? I then recounted the 4 nights we hung out last week and lunch with my parents. He said it didn't seem like we spent that much time together. He. Is. Literally. Insane. And. Its. Driving. Me. Crazy.

We NEED to discuss the date, the flowers, and the incessant text messaging. If he has no intentions, that is fine and I will be his friend anyways and it would probably be a good thing if he moved, but if he DOES, then I need to know.

After the camping trip, if I can stand it that long, we will have a talk. It was right on the tip of my tongue tonight on the phone, but then he said he was tired and had to go, so who knows, maybe Thursday before class, maybe Monday while we are shopping for groceries for the trip, maybe after the trip, but regardless, WE NEED TO TALK.

New Experiences

After church this morning, Cameron came to eat with me and my parents. That was definitely a new experience for me. I was terrified that my dad was going to say something inappropriate or that mom would make things awkward, but they didn't and Cameron really seemed to enjoy spending time with them. Which is a very good thing.

Also, you know that house I was telling you about yesterday? I went and looked at it this afternoon. I really really liked it. Mom and dad, not so much. It's over priced and needs some work, but I can see myself in it. However, I will listen to my father because he knows what he's talking about. So the search for a permanent housing solution continues.